An autistic man who became stranded on a desert island after a shipwreck has asked the search and rescue team who found him if they wouldn’t mind fucking off again, reports have confirmed.
Concerns have been growing for Eddie Albington, 45, ever since he was the only member of his crew not recovered within hours of the wreckage – but despite his family’s fears, Albington was reportedly “not just surviving, but thriving.”
Rescue worker Graeme Hart, 32, said: “He was looking a little thin, but otherwise he seemed in weirdly good spirits for someone who’d been isolated from society with seemingly no hope of return.”
“We usually get a hero’s welcome,” Hart explained. “But when Mr. Albington saw us, he responded ‘oh for fuck’s sake’.”
“He hadn’t even drawn a face on a ball like Tom Hanks,” a baffled Hart continued. “He apparently didn’t want to make small talk with it.”
Albington commented: “Look, could you lads just pretend you never saw me and come back in, say, a fortnight? Preferably after my next appraisal and when my wife’s got someone else to mow the lawn.”
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