An autistic man desperately needs to be factually correct about things nobody else gives a shit about, his loved ones have reported. 

Ben Espenson, 38, reportedly has the option to simply let small things go, but instead chooses to insist he’s right about inane nonsense until he runs out of oxygen. 

Espenson explained: “If you mispronounce ‘emissary’ in my presence, I will correct you. I don’t care how much you insist I misheard, or the fact that you clearly know how it’s pronounced and have never once to date said eMISSary. I know what I heard.”

“The right thing is never the easy thing. Maybe the easy thing would be to accept your explanation,” Espenson continued. “Or better yet, not point out the mispronunciation in the first place. But that would be objectively wrong. Maybe not our friendship – but for the integrity of the English language.”

Friend Jack Harrington, 36, commented: “Alright, Ben, fine. I said eMISSary. Whatever. Are we still on for the pub? Same place as last time? The Rose & Crown?”

Espenson responded: “Actually, the last place we went to was The Swan. The Rose & Crown was two pub trips ago. You just mispronounced ‘pedantic cunt’.”

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