Autistic woman asked where it hurts gestures vaguely at entire life
An autistic woman asked to describe the source of her pain has no idea where to begin, it has been reported. Miya Wilkes, 29, called an ambulance after suffering a fall at home. When paramedic Avery Mann, 39, arrived on the scene and asked her...
Shock! Autistic woman’s mother hasn’t commented on diet, clothes or lifestyle yet
An autistic woman’s mother has aroused shock and suspicion after going five minutes without a single comment about her daughter’s life choices, eyewitnesses have claimed. Natasha Weaving, 34, met her mother Christine, 65, for brunch, expecting all manner of commentary on her hastily thrown-together outfit,...
Autistic and ADHD friends realise they have never retained a single fact about each other
A pair of lifelong friends have recently realised they know almost nothing about each other thanks to their autism and ADHD, it has been reported. Ben Espenson, 24, who is autistic, and Naveed Azkhat, 25, who has ADHD, harbour a great deal of affection towards...
Devastating! Autistic woman eats last chicken strip without savouring the moment
An autistic woman has eaten her last chicken strip without realising it was the last chicken strip, according to sources. Becky Armitage, 30, was enjoying a meal of chicken strips and chips from her local Chicken Palace when she became distracted by a true crime...
Autistic woman watching period drama driven to madness by inauthentic doorknobs
An autistic woman watching a period drama has been driven to distraction after catching several glimpses of a modern doorknob, it has been reported. Pippa Durham, 38, was looking forward to a new six-part series billed as a bodice-ripping retelling of the Dissolution of the...
Autistic woman unable to start conversations discovers talent for bringing them to a screeching halt
An autistic woman who struggles to start conversations has discovered a talent for bringing them to an abrupt and uncomfortable end, sources have said. Paige Thomas, 44, never knows what to say when speaking to friends and family, but, once she finally works up the...
Autistic person successfully ignores bladder for another hour of scrolling
An autistic person has successfully managed to ignore their bladder so they can scroll pointlessly for one more hour, according to sources. Navya Randhawa, 40, desperately needed the bathroom approximately 30 minutes ago. Instead of relieving themselves, they have been continuously refreshing Instagram in the...
Autistic woman masks flawlessly as portrait in her attic grows increasingly haggard
An autistic woman is reportedly so good at masking she is frequently mistaken for a neurotypical – while the monstrous portrait in her attic withers and decays at an alarming rate. Mary Walker, 33, nods and smiles in all the right places, says yes to...
Workplace diversity initiative promotes just fully kissing autistic people on the mouth
A workplace diversity initiative aims to support autistic employees by giving them a massive snog, it has been reported. SMH, who optimise workflow solutions to maximise stakeholder value through data-driven KPIs, announced the new scheme to make autistic colleagues feel appreciated. Once per day, autistic...
AuDHD woman both literally and figuratively late to the party
An AuDHD woman is desperately trying to catch up on the last two decades of pop culture after arriving late to a fancy-dress party, eyewitnesses have claimed. Ffiona Maw, 39, became late after giving herself five minutes to do her hair and discovering that five...
