Solicitous question leads to existential dread
A perfectly innocent question has led to the complete unravelling of an autistic man’s sense of self, it has been claimed. Anand Trivedi, 32, was reportedly minding his own business, sitting quietly and contemplating unresolved maritime mysteries, when he was cruelly dragged from his favourite...
Autistic man neglects to plan conversation in advance, experiences literal Christian hell
An autistic man who routinely plans his conversations well in advance decided to ditch the habit of a lifetime “to see what it was like”, landing him in a Biblical underworld of Christian hell, sources have revealed. Lloyd Didcot, 32, took the unusual step to...
Chilling! This autistic person’s Halloween costume is neurotypical man
An autistic man has raised the terror stakes this Halloween with a costume that friends have described as “genuinely horrifying”. Gavin Monks, 26, reportedly eschewed traditional Halloween fancy-dress options in favour of a costume he claimed would be “sure to strike fear and dread into...
Wes Streeting pledges to tackle mental health crisis with “a net and a gun”
Speaking at a press conference earlier today, the health secretary Wes Streeting announced his radical new plan to reduce government spending. Streeting, described by late journalist Dawn Foster as a “lickspittle Tory cunt”, took to the podium wearing a tweed suit, deerstalker, and carrying an...
