Autistic women “chameleon-like” due to their long sticky tongues, say experts
Autistic women are indeed like “chameleons” but for rather different reasons than initially thought, experts have discovered. The average autistic woman is believed to have a tongue length of at least 10 to 12 feet, roughly twice the length of their body, and is thought...
Red-handed! Autistic woman caught on Ring doorbell rehearsing conversation
An autistic woman has been captured on her doorbell camera rehearsing social interactions, eyewitnesses have reported. Emma Wilkes, 29, from Warrington – who installed the camera after a security scare – noticed last week that she’d been practising mini conversations with herself before entering her...
Autistic woman tries her luck with “Let’s leave it until after Pancake Day” email
An autistic woman is reportedly hoping her “let’s leave it until after Pancake Day” suggestion will successfully discourage unwanted work requests. Despite having recently returned from Christmas leave, Emma Bernard, 29, from Stockport, is said to be looking forward to “a well-deserved break” over what...
Autistic woman’s best version of herself is The Sims version of herself
An autistic woman has been distraught to discover that the best version of herself only exists within a life-simulation video game, it has been announced. Sarah Harrow, 24, from Nantwich, boasts to prospective employers that she owns three properties, five Birthday Hot Tubs and has...
Support dog helping autistic person cope with neurotypical family
A support dog is transforming the life of an autistic person by helping them cope with their neurotypical relatives, it has been reported. Barclay – a three-year-old Labrador retriever – helps Jay Chester, 18, endure the trials and tribulations of living with a family that...
Woman wishes she was in fact less aware of eating disorder this week
An autistic woman would love to be less aware of her eating disorder during Eating Disorder Awareness Week, it has been reported. According to sources, Natasha Weaving, 33, from County Durham, would quite like to exchange the constant calorie-counting monologue in her brain for a...
Lest we forget! Autistic woman begins fifty-two minute silence during haircut
An autistic woman has commenced a sustained silence at her biannual trip to the hairdresser, eyewitnesses have said. Sarah Harrow, 31, from Dingle, claims to have taken the period of silent contemplation as “a mark of respect”, and definitely not because she struggles with awkward...
Impressive! Autistic woman with EDS forms never-before-seen pose at yoga class
An autistic woman with the connective tissue disorder Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has debuted a brand new pose at a yoga class that nobody asked for or knows how to handle, according to reports. Ffiona Maw, 32, from Carlisle, reportedly heard screams from the surrounding women in...
Big questions! Woman ponders whether constant crushing lonely feeling is due to autism or queerness
An autistic queer woman is wondering whether the excruciating sense of isolation she feels at all times is because she’s autistic or because she’s attracted to women, sources have revealed. Miya Wilkes, 29, from Leeds, regularly feels like an alien in society – yet remains...
Wait for me! Conversation moving on before autistic woman is ready
An autistic woman has been left devastated after having watched a conversation galloping away from her before she felt able to contribute with a witty response, eyewitnesses have reported. Miya Wilkes, 32, from Ormskirk, was far too busy planning the perfect moment to insert a...
