Prodigy! Undiagnosed autistic woman really good at eating disorder
An undiagnosed autistic woman has discovered she’s absolutely amazing at having an eating disorder. Paige Thomas, 19, from Elton, has an innate talent for using food to regulate uncomfortable emotions – as opposed to actually feeling them. “It’s absolutely foolproof,” Thomas told us proudly. “To...
Man! This autistic woman doesn’t feel like a woman
A song by Canadian pop artist Shania Twain has uprooted an autistic woman’s issues with gender identity, reports have confirmed. The throwback track – which was playing in a bar during a outing with friends she didn’t want to go out with in the first...
Am I weird? Autistic woman only asks people weirder than her
An autistic woman constantly agonising over how strange she appears to others has finally found a solution, reports have confirmed. Krista Shure, 27, from Widnes, regularly seeks assurance that her interests and behaviours aren’t actually that weird – yet only ever asks people who are...
Boss who accommodates autism also suggests dropping it off at nursery
Worried about bringing your autism to the office? A local employer has come up with a genius solution, reports confirm. Paige Thomas, 29, from Ormskirk, had initially feared her adult autism diagnosis wouldn’t be welcome at her place of work. Fortunately, though, her new line...
Autistic woman who tries harder than everybody still the worstest
Despite putting in more effort than everybody on the planet combined, an autistic woman is still constantly ballsing up when it comes to socialising, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 26, spends hours a day faking conversations with herself before her work shifts – yet...
Autism diagnosis still waiting for woman
An autism diagnosis is anxiously awaiting for her woman to turn up for an ASD assessment. Autism, 36 – who has been hanging about an NHS assessment centre for as many years – still holds out hope that Sarah Harrow, 36, might have a mid-life...
Autistic child refusing to smile simply thinks you’re dull
New evidence has uncovered a possible reason why autistic children don’t grin back at you — they simply think you’re ridiculous. Experts have been monitoring Lottie Fitzgerald, three, who had remained stony faced throughout her parents’ attempts to entertain her. The couple from Congleton, Cheshire,...
Autistic woman cosplays as woman
An autistic woman has dedicated herself to cosplaying as an ordinary woman in her everyday life, it has been revealed. Emma Bernard, 28, from Huyton, first began dressing up as Emma Bernard (Normal Version) in her early teens – after people routinely rejected her for...
So brave! Autistic woman opts for slightly different ready meal
In a self-described “moment of madness”, an autistic woman has purchased a supermarket ready meal for tonight that wasn’t her normal one, it has been rumoured. Emma Bernard, 27, from Derby, usually buys the spinach and ricotta cannelloni from Tesco Express on a Friday evening...
I’m just like Matilda, says autistic woman who can’t add up
An autistic woman has claimed to “deeply relate” to Roald Dahl’s Matilda – despite still having to count on her fingers. Freya Emerson, 26, from Beeston, Cheshire, declares that she “really sees herself” in Mara Wilson’s portrayal, because: “She was a child prodigy. As was...
