An AuDHD man’s day of working from home has so far consisted of him going to a coffee shop to work and realising he hasn’t brought any actual work with him, witnesses have said.
Ethan Stern, 31, envisioned a quiet yet industrious day of working through client requests away from the sensory hell of his office, but had just sat down with his flat white and banana bread when he realised he’d left his laptop at home – possibly even in the fridge, for reasons his current self could not begin to fathom.
Stern said: “I had the best of intentions. I’d even put on my ‘I’m a cool guy who works in coffee shops’ shirt, which I had layered over my only white t-shirt that doesn’t have stains on it. I’d mentally assumed the persona of a productive, stable person, something I can only reliably summon when the weather is a comfortable 18 degrees Celsius, Saturn is in Pisces, and absolutely everything goes according to my highly-specific plan. So it’s all ruined now.”
“I can’t just walk home and grab my stuff and come back out again. Mentally, I’ve already done the commute. Going home now would be the end of the working day, because that’s what my brain will decide it is, and my body is just a meat puppet at the mercy of a cruel and capricious master.”
“I’m going to down this expensive coffee in one gulp so I can go home and stare at the wall until I can go to bed in a fit of shame. Might order some nuggets while I’m at it.”
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