Your one and only friend who you didn’t meet on a Stargate SG-1 messaging board in the early 2000s is reportedly “too neurotypical” to understand any of your references to either popular or unpopular culture.

Kelsey Dacey, 37, is apparently what’s known as a “regular human being”: she enjoys going outside, socialising after work and having the energy in the evening to do things other than collapsing in a darkened room. She is also seemingly really struggling to keep up with whatever the fuck it is you’re talking about.

“I love my friend so much,” said Dacey. “It’s so nice to see them every six to eight months when they feel like leaving the house! But I feel like I have to do so much homework: they keep comparing regular events to things from films and TV shows that I haven’t seen. Or stuff that I only watched 25 years ago. Or something they once read off the back of a cereal packet.”

Dacey complained: “Last year we were out on a hike and they told me that the light was a bit like in The Lord of the Rings when these two hairy little gay guys see a statue, and wouldn’t let us move on until they’d found a screenshot to prove it.”

“And when I told them about a recent argument with my sister, we had to pause everything to watch three series of Avatar: The Last Airbender so that I’d understand what they meant by her being ‘a total Azula.'” 

You could not be reached for comment, as you were busy on Tumblr looking for pictures of Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.

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