An autistic person who sent too many texts in a row actually, er, has something important they need an answer about, it has been claimed.

19-year-old Avery Mann’s need to be thorough, coupled with their excited stream-of-consciousness communication style, means they are a notorious octuple-texter whose word counts make The Odyssey look like a pamphlet. Now, though, they actually do need to know if you’re going to be home tomorrow, but don’t want to push you for a message since you technically have grounds to prosecute.

Mann said: “I started to catch myself after my sixth message about golden snub-nosed monkeys, but it was already too late. My written profile of the world’s most magical-looking primate wasn’t quite complete and I had so much to get off my chest. It totally wasn’t urgent, but this latest thing is, and I’m not sure if you’ve dismissed me as some sort of shill for Big Monkey.”

“Maybe I could message you on another app which I haven’t tainted with monkey chat? Or is that going to make you think I’m trying to re-engage you in said monkey chat?”

Mann was last seen scowling at a picture of a golden snub-nosed monkey, muttering: “Thanks a lot, you fascinating bastards.”

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