A teacher has been praised for promoting the belief that autistic young people can do anything they put their mind to – even, apparently, staying the fuck away from her.
Karen Hoyland, 45, teaches Citizenship at a secondary school, where she prides herself on creating an environment that stifles any expression of individuality underneath a large wall display that reads “FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS”.
“My dream is to not be subjected to a mass telling-off and then kept in at break because three other people, who are not me, were dicking about in the corridor,” said autistic student Finley Rice, 13. “I’m pretty sure collective punishments are explicitly banned under Common Article 33 of the Fourth Geneva Convention. So I’m exercising my human right not to participate. There’s Citizenship for you.”
“The teachers say I’ve got EBSA, which stands for Emotionally Based School Avoidance,” added Avery Mann, 14. “Because apparently it’s irrational to avoid something that’s harmful. So, I’ve diagnosed all the adults at my school with Emotionally Based Asbestos Avoidance and Emotionally Based Pit Full of Venomous Snakes Avoidance.”
Hoyland’s school is rumoured to be developing a new “Resilience Intervention” for Emotionally Based Pit Full of Venomous Snakes Avoidance, now known by the catchy acronym EBPFVSA.
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