An autistic writer has become severely mentally unwell, as the peaceful, quiet, work environment he was promised has turned out to be an overstimulating social whirl which has prevented him from getting any work done on his manuscript.

Jack Torrance, 30, a former teacher turned writer, developed the affliction after taking a seasonal job at the Overlook Hotel in Colorado. He said: “I took this caretaking job in good faith. They promised me a ‘tremendous sense of isolation’ and I thought I could just get on with my writing in peace and solitude, but I get here and it’s party city!”

“At first it was okay – they mostly left me alone, and those little girls gave my son Danny someone to play with so he wasn’t pestering me all the time. But now Lloyd the bartender keeps offering me free booze and the ballroom is full of hundreds of people dancing at all hours. I can’t even get a break if I go to the bathroom. Grady the attendant is always there wanting to chat about his daughters. Even the elevator is out of bounds as it’s on its period.”

“And the hotel is being used for some sort of sex party,” Torrance continued. “When I went to check on a problem in room 237 the woman in there was stark naked and groped me, and my wife said some furries tried to get her into a threesome. We don’t want to kinkshame, but we’re a monogamous married couple!”

Soon after the conversation, Mr. Torrance suffered a burnout-induced breakdown. He is now getting some bedrest, in the care of local nurse Annie Wilkes, 44, who promises he will be allowed to finish his book in peace and quiet.

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