A gigantic entity worshipped by cultists, Cthulhu, has announced that he is evil because he has autism.
Cthulhu, described as “a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind,” disclosed their diagnosis after Kanye West made a similar claim yesterday.
Cthulhu is non-speaking, but communicated via their followers: “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn,” which loosely translates to: “everyone else is trying it on, so why not Cthulhu?”
“Cthulhu isn’t nearly as evil as Kanye Boris, or Elon and yet they hadn’t tried flinging autism into the mix as a vague catch-all excuse.”
A spokesperson for autistics, Paige Thomas, commented: “Wait autism doesn’t make you ev-“ but was unable to finish her sentence before Cthulhu woke and dragged her into the depths of the ocean.
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