A fragrance described as “sultry” and “seductive” has brought an autistic woman close to vomiting profusely, it has been rumoured.

Siobhan Moorton, 31, from Allerton, is reportedly still recovering from tentatively spraying herself on the wrist with the sample fragrance during a visit to John Lewis last Tuesday.

“It says it had ‘teasing’ notes of black cherry and bitter almond. It was less of a tease and more of a prolonged strangulation of throat and senses,” Moorton told us. “It was like being choked to death in the bosom of my Great Aunt Maureen.”

Store assistant Kelsey Dacey, 23, said: “I heard this horrible wheezing noise from behind the aisle. Then I saw a figure writhing about in a cloud of mist, like one of the worms from Dune.” 

“Instead of feeling sexy, I just felt sick,” Mooton said. “And it’s stuck to me forever now, like that blue dye when you rob a bank. Well, until I get in the shower.” 

Moorton was last seen reaching for a rich purple fragrance called Fatal Poison, hoping that one might be less overpowering.


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