An autistic man who announced plans to “have a chilled one on the couch today” neglected to mention that he has a chilled one on the couch every day, it has been rumoured. 

Dexter Livingstone, 37, claimed that he needed the rest after a long week at work – by which he meant a long couple of hours working from home, followed by many more hours of binge watching Battlestar Galactica

Livingstone commented: “I don’t think it’s fair to say I stay in on my sofa every day. Sometimes I go out in my car. Though admittedly that’s just a sofa on wheels.”

“Just last week I went to the cinema,” Livingstone continued. “No sofas there. Only large recliners.”

“And later I’m going foraging,” he added, before closing the door in our reporter’s face. 

Livingstone was last seen digging under the sofa cushions for some crisps he’d dropped down there earlier.


Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on InstagramBluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.