Neurotypical people have no idea that they can simply not go outside, it has been reported.
Since the start of summer, reports of allistic people leaving their lovely homes with all their things in have shot up by 11,000%.
Sociologist, Dr. Olivia Buckingham, explained the phenomenon: “Every year as the weather gets warmer, it creates a sort of collective delusion that places like the park, the pub and shit pebbly beaches might be ‘a fun day out’.”
“Despite all of these places being hot, crowded and full of wankers, we still see people leaving their cool, dark homes where everything is exactly how they like it in their droves,” she continued.
Dr. Buckingham added: “We urge the public to remember that leaving the house is not compulsory and that their couch and television will not be at the park.”
In a statement, neurotypicals said: “Lovely weather we’re having. Fancy a kickabout?”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
