Former Masterchef presenter, Gregg Wallace, is reportedly due to clarify that it is not him, but his autism, that is the sex pest, actually.
Gregg Wallace – who probably first Googled “autism” some time last week despite having had an autistic son for the past four years – purportedly plans to blame his alleged pattern of inappropriate behaviour on a neurological difference that typically manifests in a hyperfixation on social justice.
“He’s a nice guy,” a source close to Wallace explained. “But his autism can get a little handsy.”
“Is he sorry? Frankly, he’s apologised enough,” our source continued. “Twice, in fact. Although to be fair, the second apology was for the first apology, not the accusations of sex pesting.”
“It takes a big man to apologise twice – especially when I didn’t want to and they made me… I mean… him.”
“Now I think we should draw a line under this – a bit like how the ocean draws a line under the tip of an iceberg.”
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