Excitement is building worldwide as autistic people everywhere begin the countdown to hosting the Trauma Olympics.

The games, which rely on contestants getting the lowest possible scores, will see autistic people compete to ultimately see who is the most traumatised.

Spokesperson for autistic people, Paige Thomas, said: “The Trauma Olympics have come at the perfect time – when sports are constantly on telly, mass-triggering our memories of PE.”

“Events include the Relay Your Tragic History Race, the Tri-to-be-normal-athlon, Diving Into the Past – and Rowing – but pronounced the other way.”

She added: “Our opening ceremony will immediately follow the regular Olympics opening ceremony in Paris, where thousands of people are set to gather, further traumatising us just in time.”


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