An autistic person has decided to select their own family for Christmas this year, sources have confirmed.
Kit McGodden, 31, from Derby, ultimately came to the decision after years of drunken arguments with glass baubles being thrown, before their family of four ingested turkey in resentful silence.
McGodden commented: “I’ve opted to in stay with my housemate, Megan, on the basis that she can comfortably handle a brief lesbian kiss on the BBC, and doesn’t lose her marbles at one Nonnatus midwife pecking the other.”
“I’m keen to experience new family Christmas traditions, like warmth and affection,” McGodden continued. “And it’ll be especially nice to meet somebody’s younger brother who isn’t a fan of Andrew Tate.”
McGodden added: “I’m just tired of dropping incredibly subtle hints about the kind of family I’d like – and then waking up to Uncle Robert defending statutory rape.”
“Honestly, we’ve have no idea why Kit wouldn’t want to stay with us,” Kit’s mother, Tracy McGodden, 64, said. “That Ricky Gervais is funny, isn’t he?”
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