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    News

    Autistic man wants you to know how sorry he is for the “man” part  

    An autistic man wishes to make it very clear to you that he is very, very, sorry that he’s a man, and for men in general, according to a statement released today. The statement, issued by Robert Noot, 46, after his friend Paige Thomas, 39,...
    Andrew Hickey, 6 days ago 2 min read  
    Health, News

    “Zombie” just autistic person with sleep disorder 

    A terrifying pasty-skinned wreck spotted shuffling towards the bus stop has turned out to be an autistic person with Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, authorities have claimed. Kit McGodden, 37, from Harpurhey, was misidentified as being one of the living dead after they were seen staggering...
    Andrew Hickey, 6 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Fine! Satan gives in after 15 weeks of negotiations for autistic woman’s soul 

    An autistic woman has officially become the first person to ever to out-negotiate Satan, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 45, has claimed that she entered into negotiations with the Prince of Darkness in good faith – but talks over the terms of her soul...
    Andrew Hickey, 6 months ago 2 min read  
    News

    AuDHD ghost late for haunting died ten years and two days ago this very night 

    A motorist has once again failed to pick up the ghost of AuDHD woman on the anniversary of her death, sources have revealed, as she completely forgot she was meant to turn up at all until two days later. Cameron Brereton, 32, did not pick...
    Andrew Hickey, 6 months ago 2 min read  
    Love, News

    Flirting? Autistic woman thought ghost was just really into pottery 

    An autistic potter has only just realised that she has been conducting an intense love affair with a ghost for the last three months, and not just teaching him about creating earthenware, it has been announced.  Dexter Livingstone, 27, started turning up in the workshop...
    Andrew Hickey, 7 months ago 2 min read  

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