Neurotypicals have concluded the season of loud bangs and ‘splosions and have commenced the season of blinking, flashing lights everywhere, it has been announced.
In accordance, the clocks have changed to Blinky Flashy Time (BFT) from Bangy ‘Splodey Time (BST).
Neurotypical spokesperson, Karen Hoyland, 48, said: “I’ve already got my Christmas lights up,” before unveiling a display so garish that if you look directly at it, it steals a bit of your soul.
She continued: “I just think it’s important to commemorate the birth of the baby Jesus with this snowman that flashes red and green while screeching to the tune of Jingle Bells.”
“Isn’t it magical?” Hoyland asked a passer by, who couldn’t answer as her house had caused them to drop dead, like a startled rabbit.
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